Even before Nate's Valentine's Day Massacre in 10th grade, I had my downs from other dudes. Gregg Engla nd didn't talk to me after I kissed him while playing Truth or Dare outside of Old South. Greg Th eran broke up with me on St Patrick's Day in 9th grade.--Really a blessing. What was that pervy senior doing going out with a freshman? I mean, I know I looked older and I was mature and of course I'm very very pretty, so I was mighty alluring, but ew. And why did my parents let me get away with that? Not that they didn't have a reason to trust me. Frodo and I were very low key on the baseball front.
Being dumped on Valentine's Day wasn't even the worst break up I've ever experienced.
The worst was just a few years ago. Not in person. Not my phone. Not by voicemail. Not even by Post-It.
Much worse.
For a clue as to how this break up came about, I offer you this link from Stephen Colbert's guest tonight, Will Schwalbe.
http://www.amazon.com/Send-Essential-Guide-Email-Office/dp/0307263649
Yep. I once got dumped over email. Worse, he had moved, didn't have a cell phone and didn't give me his new number Just moved, emailed to say "no more" and that was it.
Of course, as they all do, he tried to get in touch and see how I was and try to...I don't know what--get back together? Why do they always come back to chat? I guess I'm compelling enough to talk to but not enough to break up with in a civilized and normal manner.
Fortunately, two years later, I haven't been called in a while. Which is good. At first he would call to chat every three months. Then 6. It's been probably nine now. I hope he's got some droll little woman who enjoys hearing about all his mundane interests (ancient wars and football) to occupy his phone time.
Anyway, I'm tired. Surprise surprise.
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