OMG I Totally Hate You

(Other Margaret Easley blog posts here.)

Do you know those Hughes Net commercials? Well, I hate them. They're always played during GH and during TDS/ CR newshour on Comdey Central.

This actress and her cheesey faces - especially her crinkled nose and dipped head moves - drive me nuts.

Hi! I'm not Marcia Cross. But I'd like to be...


Her name is Margaret Easley. I learned this by googling "Hughes Net Commercial" then clicking on the Wikipedia link, then googling her name.


I wonder if You Tube has the annoying commercial. If I post it and you watch it, you have to post comments about how annoying it is and also you have to make sure you don't buy that internet service.


Oh poop. No one's posted it on You Tube. You know what was a good commercial? All sorts of 80s PSAs.

Top 3:
3. Give a Hoot Don't Polite

2. Hankering for a hunk of cheese

1. The New England Aquarium


Also all of Liz's Jello Commercials were good.



My good friend Liz made this commercial. Liz clearly enjoyed the 60s and it spilled over into her commercial making.

Jimmy Fund Radio-Telethon

It's that time of year again. Time to pledge to the WEEI/ NESN Radio-Telethon for the the Jimmy Fund.

http://www.jimmyfund.org/eve/event/redsox-radio-telethon/default.html
OR
(877) 738-1234

So far, they've raised over 3 million, but the more the merrier.

For those not in the know, the Jimmy Fund raises money for cancer research. Who can say no to cancer research?

http://www.jimmyfund.org/eve/event/redsox-radio-telethon/default.html
OR
(877) 738-1234

The Jimmy Fund Radio-Telethon goes on during the Red Sox games and beyond.

"Jimmy" was actually a man named Einar Gustafson from - where else ?- Maine. He was on a radio show called "Truth or Consequences" and, as a young cancer patient, Einar AKA Jimmy's story helped raised $200,000 for Dr. Dana Farber's cancer institute. (Full story here.)

Did you know that this year, someone from every state pledged to the Jimmy Fund Radio-Telethon?

Come on, man. Everybody's doing it.

http://www.jimmyfund.org/eve/event/redsox-radio-telethon/default.html
OR
(877) 738-1234

The Jimmy Fund and the Dana Farber Institute have strong affiliation with the Red Sox.

Especially this year, as Red Sox pitcher Jon Lester just returned to the pitcher's mound after a year long winning battle against lymphoma.

And especially this year because of Big Jim - AKA Dad -, who is home from the hospital today after a successful surgery to install a pump inside that will release pain medication.

http://www.jimmyfund.org/eve/event/redsox-radio-telethon/default.html
OR
(877) 738-1234

29 Year Old Soldiers and the facts

Two people from Massachusetts died in Iraq, and both were reported today. It took me all day to realize that that's the same age as me. And also that I'm from Massachusetts.

One was from Mashpee. She was a mother of three and a member of the Mashpee Wampanoag tribe. Her name is Staff Sergeant Alicia A. Birchett. She was crushed by a truck after changing its tire.

The other was from Franklin. His name was Staff Sgt. Robert Ryan Pirelli, and he was killed in action. There aren't further details about how, yet.

Meanwhile, the Pentagon reports that:

All Things Considered, August 16, 2007 · A new report from the Defense Department says 99 active duty soldiers committed suicide last year — more than a quarter of them while serving in Iraq and Afghanistan.

Also, the Daily Show yesterday featured a fascinating clip from 1994:
Link to clip about how Dick Cheney didn't think that having a war in Iraq would not be a successful endeavor because, "It's a very volatile situation over there and if you take down the central government in Iraq, you could see pieces of Iraq fly off."

Just the facts.

New Feature

Scroll to the bottom to find the Countdown. I wanted to add it the other day but I couldn't find the html for it. Anyway I thought it would be fitting considering Karl Rove has resigned. I am skeptical about this. But this is still good news, somewhat.

Le Divorce

Le Divorce

It did not do that well in the theatre but my guess is that it is a very popular late night Saturday movie. Or a Sunday afternoon movie.

I know that's when I watch it. Like right now. And I love it. I didn't the first time I watched it. But there's something about it that's so charment.

I think I like the idea of an American poet in Paris with her scuzzy Parisian husband and Gigi as her mother in law.

And Sam Waterson as a dad. I love his crinkly voice. After he says anything profound, I expect to hear that "chung chung" from Law and Order.


So, while I'm watching this movie about betrayal and alliances and perseverance and pour ma vie comme a vien (taking life as it comes) for the fifth time, I happen to be checking my myspace, especially since they added the new feature where anyone in you email address book can be checked and then get added to your myspace. Little did I know, when I checked all, I'd be adding all sorts of ghosts from the past into my myspace. That guy from the bar on Christmas Eve? In. The guy who had nothing wrong with him except that he didn't want to make time for me while he went to law school. In. Including a whole host of other peripheries.

Oops.

Anyway, while looking through my new myspace friends' profiles, I discovered something i had forgotten, or perhaps repressed. And that is this: wherever you work, the most innocuous of circumstances can actually turn out to be quite volatile or crushing.

I thought I hadn't experienced wheelin' and dealin' and sucking up to the wrong person until I recently entered the corporate world, but while glancing through the top friends of a former presumably close colleague and -- gwon' an knock me over with a feathah cuz that summmabitch had my least favorite person in his top friends. It felt like such a betrayal.

As disheartening as it was, it just reminded me that every where -- corporate world, education world, college academia -- always has its elements of betrayal, forged alliances and lack of respect for karma.

C'est cette lack that will fin en tragedie. But once a person trahis, il ne peut pas be trusted.

Oui. C'est vrai.

So, the day will come when the alliance will bite.

The point of this cryptic franglish blog is that, if you observe someone betraying another person who doesn't deserve such betrayal, beware of making an alliance with the betrayer. It will come back to haunt. It always does.

So, how did it come to this? I call it passive cowardice. You know--like the people who didn't speak up against the Nazis. Only on a much smaller scale. It happens all the time. Just read harry Potter. And that's why I think it's weird that I'm always placed in Hufflepuff in the online sorting hat quiz. Because I'm so Gryffindor in the "speak up and be brave" aspect of sorting.

Anyhoo, this has been an interesting blog. Blame it on the sake.

Adieu Old Navy

Today was my last day at Old Slavery. I decided I would write a letter with all my recommendations for bettering the business, now that I won't be there. I was also looking through the employee newsletter, called "Behind the Seams" (seriously), and found a million editorial mistakes. So I, in full copy editing mode from the other job, took a pen to it and corrected it.

WTF? I mean, is this a multi million dollar (even billion?) company or what?

So, I'm going to photocopy my mark-ups and send them to my old store, the editor of the newsletter, the president, and the CEO.

What else? Oh, we had a grand old time making fun of the clothes. Hold on. Let me get some pics and I'll add my comments on the side.

MY COMMENTS:


"Help me Obi Wan. You're my only hope...Help me Obi Wan. You're my only hope...Help me--"



You see what I mean?

You know that LensCrafters commercial for transitions lenses and the people are all in the future wearing futuristic clothes? That's where this shirt came from.


So that was fun to chat about for a smidge. Then we moved on to the dresses. Some of them are very cute. Some are just hideous.


Hideous.

Case in point---------->

Seriously.

What the FROCK are they thinking?

My joke is that when you buy this dress you get a pack of Virginia Slims Menthol and some Poland Springs Coffee Brandy as your gift with purchase. Optional accessories include a football kicked into the yard by the neighborhood kids. When you wear this dress, you'll have to have a Solo cup filled with coffee brandy mixed with half n' half and ice, a Virginia Slim hangin' out of your mouth, and the football raised over your head so you can go around yelling, "Whose is this? Whose is this?!!! I'm keeping this. I'm keeping this! No more balls in my yard! No more balls!!!"

Is it any shock that the moomoos are half price?

Next are the new jeans. Actually everything about them is quite clever. Nice little marketing campaign with the different names for the styles. And the ones called "Sweetheart" are actually good. Several women walked out of the fitting room with broad smiles and high piles for every shade.

I've renamed the denim line to be what they really should be named:

Diva=Slut

Sweetheart=Prude

Goddess=High Maintenance

Flirt=Co(k Tease

Oh, I shall miss making fun of the hideous clothes and transparent marketing ploys.

I still have my discount for another week. I'm spending like crazy after pay day.

So, anyway, Adieu Old Navy. It was a great exactly two years. (Weird, eh? That seems like so long ago.)

Good night,
\/

If your dog is sprayed by a skunk

If your dog is sprayed by a skunk, or How I Spent My Thursday Night

Below are truly effective tips on how to get the skunk smell out of your dog and how to get the skunk smell out of our house once your dog is sprayed by a skunk. But first, a picture to show why mom and I were so patient with her. Look at this face:

It's a good thing she's so cute.

Did you know that PETS and PEST are anagrams? I thought of that tonight from 9:20 to 11:00 PM tonight when I took the following steps to rinse the skunk smell out of my dog. This is what to do if your dog is sprayed by a skunk:

1. Pull out the leftover douches from last summer when your dog was sprayed by a skunk. Pull on some latex gloves.

2. In a bucket, mix a 24 oz. bottle of tomato juice (V8 juice with Lemon apparently also works) and a tsp of dish soap with a quart of hot water. Get an old loofah sponge and loofah the mixture into your damn dog, particularly in the part where she was straight on hit. You don't want to rub the skunk oil into other parts of her skin, so try to find the part was she was sprayed and really work the mixture in there. After that part is done, rub down the rest of her coat.

3. Thoroughly brush or comb the dog's hair, combing the tomato juice solution through. This is a good idea because the dog likes it. Also, this gets a lot of the smelly hair off of her.

4. Use a watering can to rinse off.

5. Give your dog a treat for being a good girl and not running away as you torture her with breakfast juice and water.

6. Bring out the douches. Spray the douche onto the part of the dog was hit. Use the loofah to rub the douche into her fur and skin. Douche the rest of her and rub that in with the loofah.

7. Thoroughly brush or comb the douche through the dog's coat.

8. Use a watering can to rinse off.

9. Mix 1 quart of peroxide, 1 tsp of dish soap and 1/4-1/2 cup baking soda in a bucket. Loofah that through the dog's hair again.

10. Comb through.

11. Use a watering can to rinse off.

The dog is done. Next, the smell in the house:

1. Baking soda the carpets, Febreeze all the fabrics, light all the smelly candles and spray odor neutralizing spray in all the rooms and turn on all the fans.

2. Not kidding: on the stovetop, heat up some olive oil, add two teaspoons of cinnamon, heat thoroughly then bring down, add 2 tbs of juice, fry up in the frying pan. Continue to fry until you're sure smell has permeated the area.

The house is done.

1. Put up some sort of barrier between the room you don't mind the dog sleeping in and the rest of the house.

2. Make up a little bed for the doggie.

3. Feed her another biscuit. She's had a hard night.

4. Take a shower

5. Drink some wine and watch the Colbert Report.

You are done for the night with taking care of your dog. This is what to do if the dog is sprayed by a skunk.

keywords:

Deskunking your dog

Skunk spray removal

The skunk sprayed the dog

dog sprayed by skunk

skunk smell from dog

New Feature

Hey, look at that. Over there------->

It's a new feature for the blog that I found today.

Today I'm using a laptop finally. I have been typing everything that I've written in longhand. I've written a lot in longhand for this assignment, due to the absent personal laptop.

Anyway, after typing something, I then take a little breaky break to peruse the internet. I found the astonishingly frightening statistic widget. This stat, by the way, is just as terrifying for our future as, well, terrorists.

I'm still interested in having children, even if I will stymie them with this debt. I mean, I won't by the stymi-er. Someone else does that. His name begins with a B and ends with a sh.

Anyway, enjoy watching our tax dollars get sucked across to the Middle East.

Every Day Street Scenes

Not really every day. I mean, it should have been just an ordinary day, but no. It was like this:

1. First I saw an old lady with a baseball style t-shirt on, an indie rock type tshirt. It had a green monster on it. Not like Wally. Just a really ugly, weird looking monster that was green. She tucked her tshirt into her pants. She had on light colored blue jeans that were really high waisted, kind of like the ones I see on Kevin Bacon right now because Footloose is on VH1.

This image is from a hilarious article about 80s movie montages. See the full piece at http://www.cracked.com/index.php?name=News&sid=1075 .

Anyway, the lady and her interesting clothes were nothing compared to her hat. It was a trout. The front part of the baseball cap had the head of a trout sticking out of it. The back had the tail of a trout sticking out of it. I assume the middle of the trout was going through her head. Anyway, she was crossing the street near the hockey rink in Randolph.

2. Shortly after I saw trout lady, I saw a Buddhist monk in full golden robe regalia. Granted many miles down the road, near my mothers workplace in the next town over, there's a Buddjist temple, but that's still not a sight you see every day on the back roads of the South Shore.

3. Later on in the evening, I saw a man in Davis Square outside of Mike's. I like Mike's. Anyway, the man was holding a disposable aluminum pan. Inside the aluminum pan, just sittin' out there for the world to puke at, was the char grilled head of a pig. Yes, a pig's head. Char grilled. Carried around in Davis Square Somerville on a balmy August night. In 2007.

So, you know, typical everyday day street scene. For people on acid.

Let's Go Reh-ang-lox!

"Let's--Go--Reh--ang--Lox!"
"Let's--Go--Reh-ang--Lox!"

At least, that's what it sounds like right now in Anaheim of Los Angeles in Anaheim.

For you see, the Sox are in Anaheim of Los Angeles in Anaheim.

Half the crowd is Red Sox fans, the other half is Anaheim of Los Angeles fans (seriously, the stupidest thing in the entire world is this being in one town but being called by another town's name).

So, half the crowd shouts "Let's go Red Sox!" The other half yells, "Let's go Angels" So, it sounds like, "Let's go Reh-ang--Lox!"

Oh Red Sox fans, how I love our ubiquity.