The list of publications that have extolled the virtues of an out-of-the-way trip to Red’s Eats is infinite. That’s because there’s an entire FRESH lobster in their lobster roll. Yeah it’s $12, which is a lot for a sandwich, but that’s a very good deal for an entire FRESH lobster.
I made my first-ever trip to this Lobster Roll Mecca two weeks ago as I left my beloved state of Maine. It was an hour out of the way. My mom and I were driving separately through the back routes of Maine, each car packed to the gills with my shtuf (hybridic slang for stuff and sh*t, like ginormous), when, after yet another rolling hill and angry traveler passed us on the double lines, she called my cell to say, “This place better be friggen good.”
And do you know what? It was.
If you don’t believe me, google “Red’s Eats.” You’ll find a million hits. I’m not going to go on about the tastiness of my sandwich for the rest of this entry, since that’s what all the other reviews give. Instead, I turn to the town in which Red’s is located..the infamous Wiscasset, Maine on Route 1.
Wiscasset holds a special place in my memories of Maine. I was an RA in Aroostook Hall at UMaine in 1998. We had about 100 residents in the dorm. About four were NOT from Wiscasset. Wiscasset used to house Maine Yankee Nuclear Power Plant. I think the waste got in the water because each one of my Wiscassetian residents was LOONY. That didn’t stop me from adoring them. There were a few cutie pies who I more than adored: Virgil, Adam AKA “Nuke” and Christian. (Oh and Jason P. but what happens in Quebec stays in Quebec.)
Virgil was nice. He had green blue eyes. I kissed him at a kegger once, which is mildly unethical for an RA but whatever, I was in college.
Adam named his room “Miami”— after the Will Smith song that was popular at the time,— had parties in that room every weekend— which I didn’t break up because I was a too-lenient RA and he was too fun and adorable,— and then failed out of college. He probably caught the lobster that I ate at Red’s the other day. Then he went home to his fiancee. He’s getting married this summer. It is nice to hear he’s growing up.
Christian was a dick. I loved him. I had this decade-long habit of liking a$$holes, and Christian was no exception. I couldn’t tell you specific things that he would do. He was just one of those self-conscious guys who showed his insecurity by being a jerk to everyone around him. Especially silly girls who fell for his face thus rationalizing away his crappy attitude. My best friend saw him in Portland last fall. She says he got a little chunky and bloated, like he hasn’t stopped the binge-drinking habits of college. That was nice to hear.
In addition to my crushes, there were also Ripley, Honey, Jason (not really a resident but was there all the time), Adam W, and Jeremy. Maybe Vic, too. All from Wiscasset. All in my dorm. All absolutely batty in a very enticing way.
If you go to Red’s and see any of them, tell them I said, “Hi.”
