silly stupid poemy thing for today

Ditties for April 15th

1) To the Tax Man

I bet you’re nothing like the
Tender Harold Crick
(from that lovely movie I watched on Sunday.)

You are wound tight,
‘tis but a requirement of the job
You put it on your resume
“.001 mm bum hole”

2) Wages-1

The Pope is here in America today
It is fitting that I reflect on my wages from the year at this time
The Archdiocese paid part of my pittance

3) Wages-2

Pick the t-shirt up from the collar
Shake it out with one crisp flick
Drape the bottom onto the table
Fold one sleeve in at mid-shoulder then the other
Use the table to fold the shirt in half
Repeat 10000000 times for close to minimum wage
Get a discount at the Gap

4) Wages-3

Those poor children
Who arrive on Saturday mornings
To learn phonetics
Before playing soccer
What torture, for both of us

5) Wages-4

eco-friendly
green
environmentally sensitive
amazing
urban
classic
sophisticated
simple
energy saving
organic
solar
Exhaust Fans

6) For

a. 20.7% I will never see, because is it paid into a system that will fail by the time I’m supposed to access it
b. 19.7% essentially goes to a war I don’t believe should have been waged; however, there are something in defense that are worth it—like peacekeeping missions and whatnot
c. 12.4% is Medicare, which—when managed properly—is worth it
d. 8.5% goes to the Chinese (interest in debt)
e. 6.8% see a and c
f. 4.7% is other income security—because mismanaging social security isn’t good enough
g. 4.5% SHOULD BE TEN TIMES BIGGER, MINIMUM for education and social services
h. 3.9% other blah blah blah
i. 2.8% health –Uncle Sam says, “Your health is 16.9% less important than our ability to bomb other people.”
j. 2.7% of the potholes on the streets are fixed because of my taxes
k. 2.6% we tapped into this year quite a bit, the result is in part on top of the television in a box, the other part in a box at the veteran’s cemetery
l. 2.1% again, at minimum quintuple this. I would love to see communities more developed
m. 2.0% I’m hungry
n. 1.5% just us
o. 1.4% returns to some of us
p. 1.3% goes to peeps without a job
q. 1.2% that’s a lot of CFL light bulbs
r. 1.1% purchased underwear in Panama
s. 1.0% for corn and pigs
t. 0.9% will get us to Mars some day
u. 0.8% TANF
v. 0.7% Does General Government know General Washington or General Petreus?
w. 0.2% man there’s some random chunks in this budget…whatev

7) What To Do with My Return

Ikea Furniture-$300
Used Fridge, Washer & Dryer-$600
Gas to cart stuff around-$100
Moving out of your parents house-priceless

HAPPY TAX SEASON EVERYBODY!!!!!! We have reached the end. 364 more days until the 2008 returns!

Tax Season and Robert Reich

One of the blogs I have on my RSS feed is Robert Reich's blog. Sometimes it's a little over my financial head, sometimes it's right on the level. And sometimes it's right on the level and far too important not too pass along:

Time to Pay Your Taxes, Support Wall Street, and Take a Licking
http://robertreich.blogspot.com/2008/04/time-to-pay-your-taxes-support-wall.html


Robert Reich was secretary of labor in the first Clinton administration. He also makes appearances on Conan O'Brien, The Daily Show and The Colbert Report, as well as regular commentary on Marketplace, public radio's business program.