N I E S

N I E S - do you belong to this club? I think I invented it. But if you have kids, or pets, or an old house or car, or you travel a lot or have a busy schedule, then you know this club.

N I E S

Nothing
Is
Ever
Simple

Today, I went to go get a copy of the house key made, since my copy mysteriously disappeared. I got down the stairs, locked the door and went to my pockets to get out my gloves. No gloves. So, I decided to start the car first, finish taking out the full trash bag, then I'd go back in and get my gloves. Then I realized I'd have to get the house key off the keychain. Not too big of a deal, since I have one of those rock climber clippy things. I can't remember the name. But the porch light is out, so I had a hard time seeing what I was doing. I got it off, put it in my pocket, left the garbage at the end of the driveway and continued to my car, whcih was parked on the street. I started my car, got out and went back to the garbage. Right after I walked down the driveway and put it in the barrel, I realized I should probably take the barrel out to the street to do that Boston resident thing where you leave an object - trash barrel, old chairs, traffic cone, etc - to stake out the street parking spot that you so ruggedly shoveled out for yourself. So then I dragged the barrel to the end of the driveway and right next to the parking spot on the sidewalk. Then I went back in the house but couldn't find any of my four pairs of gloves in my room. Not in my other coat pockets, not in the drawer of hats, scarves and supposed to be gloves. So I went out to the corner of the dining room to forage through the makeshift mudroom and the bin of "just in case" gloves, hats, scarves and found another pair of gloves, as well as a bunch of unpaired gloves and mittens, which I've held onto for some reason, and put on the gloves. Then I went back out to the car. Another car had pulled up to the house across the street, blocking my way out of the even narrower because of snow narrow street I live on. They pulled into someone else's reserved with old kitchen chairs spot. I pulled out of my spot, then parked the car and hopped out to put the barrel in the middle of my spot. Then I got back in the car and drove down the street, unable to go in the direction I wanted to because of the car in front of me and the narrowness of everything, so I had to wait at the long long light which you can't turn red on, then take another right to get back on the street I meant to go down and finally, finally, finally was on my way to Home Depot to get my new house key (Red Sox themed!) and come back, hide Re ne's key in our secret spot so she could get in, then drove to Chelsea to have dinner with John and his roommates. He made the eggplant parm. My fav.

So, yeah, Nothing Is Ever Simple. Especially not in my world.

THE END

Love

I Need a Room of Requirement

Recently, after living out of a suitcase for two weeks, I have lost the following:

- purse

- license

- cell phone

- favorite lipstick (not that big a deal, but still)

- student ID card

and more recently

- house key

I wish we were at Hogwarts and I could go to the Room of Requirement and find all my lost sh1t.

Grrrrr... This is so annoying.

Celebration Ale, The Daily Show & The Colbert Report

Sa ndy left behind some Celebration Ale and I think today is an appropriate day to kick back, watch the Daily Show/ Colbert Report Hour and drink Celebration, for there is much to celebrate.

THIS IS THE LAST NIGHT OF THE BUSH ADMINISTRATION!!!

Can you believe it's finally over? It feels like just yesterday I was glued to my radio in the basement apartment on Summer St in Orono hoping upon all hope that the Supreme Court would allow all the votes to be counted in Florida. Instead they opted to decide the election for the people and the rest is a very dark period of history in America.

And tonight, finally, thankfully, I can say:

THE END

Let's hope we're able to all live happily ever after with our magical unicorn Jesus-like rockstar president, Prince Obama and his fair Maiden Michelle.

Oh, how I love them so dearly. I want a picture of them in my livingroom -- oh wait, I DO have a photo of them with Bidens in the string of Christmas cards. I'll be sure to keep it and frame it and put it on the mantle.

Glory Glory Hallelujah!!!

Edgar Allan Poe - Birthday

Today is the birthday of Edgar Allan Poe, a poet worshipped by Parisian poets and not so revered amongst American ones. Here is a tribute to Poe from the poet Stephan Mallarme, one of my favorite poets, a French Symbolist poet. This translation is by Daisy Aldan from the book "To Purify the Words of the Tribe."

The Tomb of Edgar Allan Poe

Just as eternity transforms him at last unto Himself,
The Poet rouses with a naked sword
His age terrified at not having discerned
That death was triumphant in that strange voice!

They, like a Hydra's vile spasm on hearing the angel
Once give a purer meaning to the words of the tribe
Loudly proclaimed the sorcery drunk
In the dishonored flow of some foul brew.

From hostile soil and cloud, O lament!
If our thought fails to carve a bas-relief
With which to adorn the shining tomb of Poe.

Mute block fallen here below from some dim disaster
Let this granite at least forever be a barrier
To the foul flights of Blasphemy scattered in the future.