Oh bloody hell. What the eff am I watching and why can't I fall asleep?
I had a cappuccino at dinner. Perhaps that's my problem. Anyway, as a result of this late nite perkiness, I'm watching junky Sunday night television.
What do I mean about junky tele?
I cannot believe I'm watching this show. But it's like a car accident. I simply can't turn away. Oh God. Make it stop. Please.
Why? Why does it make me feel like vomiting? I will tell you why:
Some girl named Brandy C has some sort of scars on her face from a car accident. Giantly fake boobed Erin made fun of her scars. Brandy C whine to good old (and I do mean old) Brett Michaels and he said, "When she talked to me in that high pitched I was so turned on." Wha?
Then Brandy C compared the scars on her face to having a disability, "I mean like, this is like a disability for me. If I were in a wheelchair and she made fun of me, that would be so wrong."
Later, when Erin is talking to Brett, all he does he stare at her giantly fake boobs. And he even said in the post interview thing, it was nod and stare, nod and stare. Also Erin is allegedly engaged.
It reminds me of the time that Jenny and I went on a mullet hunt. We were having a big old laugh at the expense of some um, not so sophisticated Causian people*.
Plus, it's Brett Michaels. Just the sight of him makes me wanna grab the Aqua Net and go roller skating at Skatetown.
This is the uniform of the girls (and for Brett Micahels, in most cases):
- bleach blond or completely unnatural pink or red or both bleach and pink
- lots of black eyeliner
- tight pants-black or jeans
- leather
- longer earrings
- really long fake nails
- chunky necklace
- lots of bright blush in a drag queen like line dorn the face
- low cut shirt
- push up bra
- implants
- harsh drawn in eyebrows
- shiny under eyebrow light shadow
- shiny dark eyeshadow on lids
- lined lips
- garish pink, orange or red thickly glossed lips
Some also have
- tattoos
- piercings
- razor cut ends
- voluminous hair
It's over finally. Am I tired? Not so much. Am I hoping their airing another episode after this? Sort of. But I actually already know that this is the first episode so there won't be another one.
*White trash
