NOOOOOO - I know he's WEIRD but I can't be without my MJ

I know he's a big giant freak, but the world can't be without Michael Jackson yet! He has to be okay! Ahhhh!!! I mean, c'mon, Thriller. What's better than Thriller? Nothing. No album is better than Thriller, as far as being Important to the World-at-Large.

http://cbs5.com/national/michael.jackson.hospitalized.2.1059770.html

I hope this is a publicity stunt to promote the new tour or something........please please please...

This Week in WTF - Uh, Sprite, what are you trying to say?

Have you seen the Sprite commercial where 2 groups of guys are on either side of an outdoor basketball on a really hot day and they look menacingly at each other then run into each and become giant bursts of water? Uhh, okay. Wtf is that supposed to mean? If I drink a Sprite then aggressively chest bump my enemy on a hot day, we'll become aqua? Sounds...really really stupid.

I can't find a link yet, and maybe never will but I just wanted to say...

This Week in WTF - Brett Michaels Is Awesome

Did you see this? After Lip Synching his way through a Tony Awards appearance, Brett Michaels linger too long in the glory of the stage and TOTALLY WIPES OUT because a scene drop goes BLAM! on his head.

Here's the link but it will get pulled from terms of use, I'm sure.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GvEIEVaagVE

If it doesn't work, just google "youtube brett michaels tony awards".

The awesomeness knows no bounds.

O boy - or girl - but no one's saying - b/c of smugness

This Week in WTF - Uro Club

This is kind of an older commercial but I just saw it recently. Wrong on so so so many levels.



Get it? "URO", as in urologist and urine and Europe, where people are weird?

Funny Blogs

I've been dragoness (dragging ass) for the last few days. One way to combat such doldrums are the funny blogs:


see more Fail Blog

http://cakewrecks.blogspot.com/2009/04/apostrophe-is-silent.html

http://www.sexypeople-blog.com/2008/12/ronald.html

http://img.wonkette.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/10/bankrupt-california.jpg

New Awesome Site

Here's one page of an awesome site:

http://awkwardfamilyphotos.com/2009/05/06/the-wonder-years/

This one's the best one I've seen but there's plenty of gems on there.

Need your help: 80s puberty video w/ Annie - please leave link in comments

It all started with this photo I took of my old elementary school, Alice E. Fulton School.

Then I posted it on Facebook. This got Kara and I to talking about that puberty video we watched in the cozy little library. It was starring "Annie" from the musical. But I can't find it anywhere on the internet: no youtube, no IMDB, no links.

Anyone have any info on this video? Anyway, what I did find was this:

UPDATE: Kara found the IMDB link. The film is called "Growing Up on Broadway." Still no luck on a video link, though. Please help, if you can.

Those Blue Cups in NYC

For as long as I can remember, I've wondered exactly what those coffee cups in New York TV shows and movies are. And I've googled it often throughout the years without getting an answer.

Right now, I'm watching "If Lucy Fell" (Sarah Jessica Parker, Elle MacPherson, Eric Schaeffer, Ben Stiller and a cameo by a very very young Scarlett Johansen) and they busted some of those cups out, so I thought to give it another whirl at the Google and --- SUCCESS!

http://www.newyorkfirst.com/gifts/7073.html

Explains the whole story about the coffee cup designer wanting to appeal to the Greek restaurants and vendors and you can buy them. Insteresting!

Mystery solved.

Good Lord - Cougars

Oh yay! There's now a dating reality show, modeled after "The Bachelorette", only the woman is a Cougar with her pick of young guys. Yay yay yay!!!!!!!

http://www.tvland.com/prime/shows/cougar/season1/

Description from homepage: Twenty young men compete for the love of a sexy, sophisticated 40-year-old in this game-changing reality show. Who will make the best first impression -- and who will go home?

Britney at the Garden

Oh holy hell. Ha ha ha ha -- Britney Spears was at the Garden last night. I had the good luck to be at North Station while the droves of teenie poppers dressed as prostitutes and gays in scarves and tightjeans malingered around waiting to get in to the concert. I'll have pictures to post in a bit, but here's a video of her "dancers" leaving the Garden after the concert.

According to the security guard, this is just her "dancers". I think this decoy bus is the real bus and this is actually video of Britney leaving Boston, but whatevs.

I have some advice: if you ever want to incite a mini-riot in Boston, yell "OH MY GOD IT'S BRITNEY SPEARS!!!" after her concert as a bus pulls out. You'll get a crowd swarm around in 2.2 seconds.

For No Good Reason - watch this commercial

what happened was some dumb mayor of a Georgia town said that if the PM Gordon Brown didn't like his DVDs then he, the mayor, wondered what Brown would think of a quart of the Bull and a pack of camels and then Wonkette picked it up and a whole bunch of people were like, "Oh, he didn't mean Red Bull, he meant this more racist drink, Schlitz Blue Bull" and then I googled that and then I found the video and, well, it's too awesomely bad not to share, but really it's for no good reason.

Hooray for run-on sentences!

More Signs of the Grunge Age Apocalypse - Chris Cornell Does an R&B Album with Timbaland

I was listening to NPR tonight and Jackie Lydon started describing my former phantom husband (who I retired after an atrocious appearance on Leno last year) Chris Cornell & his distinctive vocals. And by distinctive, she meant rocking. However, I would instead use the term goddamn sexy as all faulck. Regardless, those vocals are now laid out on completely different tracks than ever before: with R&B producer Timbaland.

Good God in heaven. First Smashing promotes credit cards. Then Chris Cornell goes gangsta. What next? Courtney sells the rights to "Smells Like Teen Spirit" to the NRA...'Load up on guns and bring your friends!'

Sign of Our Old Age Apocalypse

Here we are, watching 30 Rock and some commercial comes on. It features this Smashing Pumpkins song, "Today." I flash back to memories of Lollapalooza 94 and Rene remarks on how much she loves this song.

But guess what? It was featured in a commercial FOR VISA. Really Billy Corrigan? Really?

Nothing makes one feel old as all sh1t than when the songs of your youth appear in a commercial. The second worst is when you hear them in the grocery store.

Now, where's my cane? And I need a can of Ensure...

Oh, and now I'm hip again. Ray LaMontagne is going to be on SNL - Lewiston in the hizouse.

The Lastest in Awesome Late Nite Commercials

Oh good Lord in hebben above, what in the name of all that is holy is this?

https://www.bumpits.com/Default.aspx?MID=538365

Really? You put a piece of plastic on the back crown of your head so you can look like Amy Winehouse?

Good Lord.

Unmentionables on a Website

SWEATY PEOPLE LIKE ME -- look what I saw on the View this morning:

http://www.garmentguard.com/

I put these little pads over the armpit of your shirts and it helps prevent those wicked annoying sweat stains that always seem to come up no matter how sedentary I am or how I used XXXXXXtra Strength Antiperspirant for Super Sweaty B1tches (Lady Mitchum, Secret Platinum, Certain Dri).

Yay!

Exploring the site, I found some other awesome things.

http://www.garmentguard.com/index.asp?PageAction=VIEWPROD&ProdID=23&HS=1

You put this patch on your underwear and it absorbs the smell of your farts. Seriously.

My favorite, though, is the Skid Out. Guess what that's for?

This Week in WTF - the 13 year old boy who is or isn't a dad

Well, first there was this:



Now there is this:

Thirteen-year-old Alfie Patten is the victim of a scam, his girlfriend having been told to pretend he was the father of her baby so their families could strike lucrative deals with the media, a family friend has claimed.

Intense media scrutiny in the UK and around the world has focused on the East Sussex teen, who reportedly conceived baby Maisie with girlfriend Chantelle Steadman, who is 15. Alfie was 12 at the time and Chantelle was 14.

Both Alfie and Chantelle's parents are believed to have netted thousands of pounds in media deals, the Daily Mail said.

But a close friend of Chantelle's parents, Clive Sim, said Chantelle was told by her mother to say Alfie was the father so they could cash in on the story.

A number of other older teens have since claimed to be Maisie's father.

From this article: http://www.smh.com.au/world/13yearold-father-alfie-the-victim-of-cash-scam-girlfriends-family-friend-says-20090219-8bq0.html

Toy Breeds at Westminster

Oh my. We are watching the Toy Breed part of the Dog Show. So far, I love the Pomeranian and I think Maddie woulda kicked that orange minpin's bum bum. Good Lord, they are cute, those toys.

Least fav: toy poodle.

2nd fav: King Charles Spaniel

Oh, and the Silky Terrier likes Gummi Bears! Cute!

And look, that man has two left feet. Just kidding.

Meh, Pom came in 4th. Others weren't memorable for me so who cares who came in whatever else.

THE END

RIP - The expression "That's how I roll"

02/07/09, 11:17 PM

Boston, MA - In a late night weather report, the Channel 7 meterologist, a middle-aged white man who we believe to be Pete Bouchard - though this has not been confirmed, effectively killed the "slang" expression, "That's how I roll" by using it in his weather forecast on the 7 News Weather segment this past Saturday night.

"That's how I roll" was born in the late 90s and featured prominently in the world of hip hop. It trickled down into white suburban teenage language, then further along until it died tonight when the geeky weatherman used it to talk about the 41 degree balmy weather we will experience this weekend.

"That's how I roll" was cousin to "Let's roll", which saw it's demise after being overplayed for its valiant use during the attacks of September 11, 2001.

In other news, "Change we can believe in" is just about to die and clinging for dear life, and "LOL", sadly, commited suicide, because it far too dorky.

God Bless America - We Heart the Inauguration Hat

Dear heavens, I fricken love this country. Only in America could something like Facebook exist and only in America would someone start a Facebook Fan Group for Aretha Franklin's Inauguration Hat.




As of this morning, there are 87,159 fans. And counting. People are writing letters to the hat. People are posting poems - ballads, haiku, etc. - to the hat. People LOVE this hat. I am among these people, of course. How could I not?

• Is it an accessory? Yup.
• Is it flamboyant? Yup.
• Is it one of those "only you could pull that off" type things? Yup.
• Would other, more boring, sticklerish people perhaps call it "tacky"? Yup.
• Do I instead consider to be 'fierce'? Yup.
• Is it sparkly? Oooooh, yup yup yup.

With the answer to all these question a definitive, resounding "YES", then I clearly worship this hat.

Do you know there's a request for it to go to the Smithsonian? Not kidding. Look.

God Bless America.