The following is a list of baseball players not on the list of players mentioned in the Mitchell Report, but probably should have been. Either they're abusers of steroids or just freaks/ a-holes.
1. Nomar Garciaparra - When he discovered he wasn't in the report, he turned to Senator Mitchell and said, of course, "Thanks, Beautiful." But Alicia reminded me of the time that his muscles fell off his bones so the chances of him not abusing steroids is fairly slim.
2. Carl Everett - I was at the game when he head butted the umpire. It was my 22nd birthday. Crazy mofo.
3. Wil Cordero - John Valentin came into the bagel shop I was working at on the day that Wil got arrested for beating his wife up with a telephone. My boss was the one who told him about the scandal. Valetin said, "No way!" and pocketed his change, instead of putting it in the tip jar. Whatev.
4. Jose Offerman - I think this video speaks for itself
5. Joe Mikulik - I don't know why a minor league manager would take steroids, but clearly there's something up with this guy
6. Brady Anderson - God, he was sexy. I'm a sucker for sideburns. Anyway, he was just awesome for like, one year, and then he went back to sucking again, so clearly should have been on the list. Hot anyways.
7. Roberto Alomar - Remember when he spit in the umpire's face? It caused a huge controversy that year because Alomar wasn't suspended right away. But considering what's in the Mitchell report, letting players spit in the faces of people was the least of the things baseball players were getting away with in what will now be called "The Steroid Era."8. Izzy Alacondera - Before you watch this short video, I refer you to this blog entry (Dear Sister parody). You only have to watch the first video on it to get why this thing is hysterical.
9. Don Zimmer - just because he felt inadequate. It was a self-esteem thing.
10. A-Rod - because he's a jackass. And I think "purple lips" is a symptom of HGH use.
Can you think of more? Feel free to add to the list! Post them in you comments!Alicia (P)M helped contribute to this entry as we commuted home from work today.
Mike's comment is that because of his bulging muscles and rock hard body, he is insulted that you didn't put him on the list.
ReplyDeleteThis is from Rene:
ReplyDeleteDon Zimmer would have been my top choice, but you had
him covered. Don't forget about Milton Bradley (angry
bat chucker...that HAD to be 'roid rage). And, please,
please, PLEASE don't forget about Randall Simon who
clearly was raging when he took out the Italian
Sausage during the Milwaukee Brewers' sausage race.
Rene- I thought Milton Bradley was on the list...I didn't look myself, but I know my brother searched for his name!
ReplyDeleteI THINK YOU COULD SAY SOME THOSE GUYS HAVE "LATIN" TEMPERS, IF YOU CATCH MY DRIFT AND CARL EVERETT IS JUST AN ASSHOLE. AND JETER POKES A-ROD IN THE BUTT WITH SOMETHING BUT IT IS NOT A NEEDLE.
ReplyDeleteALICIA also added this:
ReplyDeleteI LOVE the Izzy Alcan....in slow mo. Hilarious.
Oh, and we did talk about Milton Bradley on the way home a little bit...and how Carl Everet doesn't believe in dinosaurs.