Oh. Holy. God. I am going to DIE of embarrassment

People, look at this excerpt from an interview my fake husband did with an online gay magazine thingy, called Qweerty, and SEE WHAT HE SAID:


On another note, you've become something of a gay icon, or at least object of affection. Have you noticed it at all? What do you think of it?

I've started to notice it a little bit, although so far it seems like I'm more a subject of geek affection than gay affection. Weird things happen once you appear on TV a couple times; I got a (straight) marriage proposal in my inbox the other day (which for any number of reasons, I turned down). But in general, the whole thing is a terrific confidence-booster. I'm just focused now on trying to build out the 538 brand and making sure I keep getting to do this stuff for a long time.

He also dodged answering whether or not he's gay but he must be because why else would someone turn me down? Know what I mean? Anyway, the whole point is he made a vague reference to the silly shizzle I've been pulling for the past months and now I want to crawl under the desk and absolutely die. DIE.

Kill me. Seriously.

I hope he at least found them amusing.

It's Back On: Nate $ilver i$ $till my fake hu$band

Remember on Thursday when I said I'd give up my silly quest to make Nate Silver my husband via this blog?

Well, for some reason, I've changed my mind...

“New intelligence says Mr. Silver’s advance is in the neighborhood of $700,000, give or take a few grand. Now Mr. Silver just has to choose which imprint he likes best, a process that is unlikely to be resolved before next week.” (Wonkette)

Glitter Graphics

Fantasy Children of Phantom Husband Nate Silver and me

Quote from previously mentioned NYT article:

“When we took him to preschool one time, we dropped him off, and he announced, ‘Today, I’m a numbers machine,’ and started counting,” Brian Silver said. “When we picked him up two and a half hours later, he was ‘Two thousand one hundred and twenty-two, two thousand one hundred and twenty-three...’ ”

So the question is, will we have precocious children who "become number machines" at age 4 or will we have precocious children who make everyone stop talking at family parties so they can hear a pre-school "Dorothy" sing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow"?

I think the answer is a hybrid of both. I think we'll have some spunky childruns who'll sing "3 Is a Magic Number" at the "holiday" (multi-faith) parties.

Feature Article on My Love Man Nate Silver

Har har har - Nate Silve and I are in love. Now he's in the New York Times. This extra shot to popularity -- making it into the NYT and all -- must be the reason he hasn't responded to any of my awesome awesome, non-freakish fanmails of marriage proposals.

NYT link:
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/11/10/business/media/10silver.html?hp

This Week in WTF - Leave It to Alaska (with special Nate Silver update)

Oh Alaska, you endless endless font on political WTF stories!!!

First is Palin, who's been erroneously compared to Bill Clinton (governor of a small, rural state rises to highest land in office) a number of times. I have a feeling Palin doesn't even know what a Rhodes Scholar is, never mind was ever eligible to be one. Her and her pretty clothes and half up 'do beehive have been makin' quite the rounds out here in blogland.

Then there was Alaska Senator Ted Steven, a felon convicted seven times of bridery related charges, right before the election.

And, here, my friends, I give you the icing (or frosting as we say around here) on the WTF cake (from the Anchorage Daily News):

roughly 30 percent of the ballots [remain] to be counted, including:

• 61,000 absentee votes.

• More than 20,000 questioned ballots.

• 9,500 early votes.

Yeah. 30% of the votes have not yet been counted in Alaska. WTF???? No wonder the convicted felon IS CURRENTLY IN THE LEAD.

Husband Nate Silver has done some seriously nerdy work (no surprise there) and predicts the election outcome will turn in favor of the non-criminal candidate, Anchorage mayor, Democrat Mark Begich. That Nate Silver. He's so geek chic. He should make a holiday calendar of him with charts and graphs and those super nerd glasses on like every month. I'd buy that calendar for sure. Maybe that will be in my next open letter to him. Though I think I might give up soon, since he never writes back. I mean, he can't take a second out of his day to write back to his freakish Delores Claiborne like NUMBER ONE FAN. Just a moment in between the NPR commentary, the MSNBC appearance, the press interviews, the data analysis, the blog writing, and the 3-4 hours of sleep, he hasn't once taken the time to write back. Even after those awesome blingees I made of him. Whatev.

Add Glitter to Pictures

=sigh=
He's so dreamy.

My Husband is a Good Listener

Yay! Phantom Husband Nate Silver took my styling advice and is on my teevee right now wearing his sexy sexy glasses.

(He comes in at around 2:00 witha very serious expression that reminds me a little of the Eagle on the Muppets, but I'm still crushin', yo.)

I sent an email to inform him of the Blingee that I made for him (see previous post). In the post-script, I recommended he wear his glasses on appearances, and right now he's on Keith Olbermann sporting the specs! Vair vair cute indeed.

Still hasn't written back to my emails though.

The email:

10/27/08

Subj: Nate, why won't you take my marriage proposal seriously?

I mean, I wrote to you two weeks ago and I haven't heard a word! WTF? I know you're busy being a media slut -- nice job on On the Media by the way -- but, c'mon. Can't I get a simple "hello"?

To demonstrate just how seriously I take my proposal in the open letter I posted on my blog, (http://buzzfeed.com/scott/nate-silver/open_letter_to_nate_please_marry_me), I have now posted a follow up, which is this:

http://blingee.com/blingee/view/74061333-Nate-Silver-Is-a-Hotty

Because nothing says "devoted and committed" like a tricked out pic on Blingee.

I hope you enjoy it. I'm especially fond of the blinking words "Love Man" that I put across the crotch area. That added the final touch of hideous flourish to make this perfect.

Write back soon! I'd love to be the one that helps you through your post election postpartum depression.

xo xo

Bridge

PS I dig you with the glasses more than without. If I were your stylist, I'd recommend you wear them during your on air interviews and appearances. Even before Sarah Palin, glasses were the new sexy accessory [emphasis added for the post]

Update on New Phantom Husband Nate Silver

Well, my phantom husband Nate Silver still hasn't responded to my open letter - via this blog - proposing marriage, but I think I have done the thing that will seal the deal: I have made a Blingee pic of him to show how much I love him.

I learned about Blingee from Wonkette.com. They're always making awesomely inappropriate Blingees, like when Larry King interviewed Mahmoud Amedemijhad.

So, here's my tribute to Nate. I hope this means he'll be in touch soon to accept my proposal and we will be happily married by the time Obama is sworn in.


Myspace Glitter Graphics

He's So Dreamy - in that awkward dorky way

Here's my new phantom husband on the Colbert Report last night. He says he wore the purple tie to be politically neutral but really it was his coded way of saying how much he loves me, since purple is my favourite color. It was like Carol Burnett's ear tug to say hi to her mom or whatnot.

Anyway, the clip:



Isn't he adorable? All shifty and nervous but still manages to be funny and smart...Hmm...Ah love.