Some Super Bowl Things

1. Though the Cardinals won't win, I would like to take a moment to share this article about strong safety Adrian Wilson of the Arizona Cardinals. He took over for Pat Tillman, when Tillman left the NFL to join the military after September 11. Tillman was later killed while fighting in Afghanistan in 2004. -- The details of his death and the cover up of the friendly fire incident make for yet another black mark on the Defense Dept/ Bush Administration, but this does not at all diminsh the extraordinary sacrifice Tillman made. -- Wilson has been thinking quite often about Tillman over the years and quite a bit in the lead up to tomorrow's Super Bowl.

2. Mike Tomlin, who I blogged about last week, was on Smarmy Man Who I Live Anyway Keith Olberman's show the other day. Tomlin is younger than the Cardinals' quarterback. Isn't that weird? Anyway, Boy Genius Head Coach can go ahead and put himself on my always open, always growing list of Phantom Husbands. He's real real cute and brainy, a super plus. Oh, and accomplished. Obv.

3. Only a Game has an annual tradition of Superbowl Haiku and this year was no exception. My favorite was this one:

Kurt Warner recalls

His first Super Bowl. Recalls,

Too, the Civil War.

Get it? 'Cause he SO OLD!!! More haiku here.

Oh. Holy. God. I am going to DIE of embarrassment

People, look at this excerpt from an interview my fake husband did with an online gay magazine thingy, called Qweerty, and SEE WHAT HE SAID:


On another note, you've become something of a gay icon, or at least object of affection. Have you noticed it at all? What do you think of it?

I've started to notice it a little bit, although so far it seems like I'm more a subject of geek affection than gay affection. Weird things happen once you appear on TV a couple times; I got a (straight) marriage proposal in my inbox the other day (which for any number of reasons, I turned down). But in general, the whole thing is a terrific confidence-booster. I'm just focused now on trying to build out the 538 brand and making sure I keep getting to do this stuff for a long time.

He also dodged answering whether or not he's gay but he must be because why else would someone turn me down? Know what I mean? Anyway, the whole point is he made a vague reference to the silly shizzle I've been pulling for the past months and now I want to crawl under the desk and absolutely die. DIE.

Kill me. Seriously.

I hope he at least found them amusing.

It's Back On: Nate $ilver i$ $till my fake hu$band

Remember on Thursday when I said I'd give up my silly quest to make Nate Silver my husband via this blog?

Well, for some reason, I've changed my mind...

“New intelligence says Mr. Silver’s advance is in the neighborhood of $700,000, give or take a few grand. Now Mr. Silver just has to choose which imprint he likes best, a process that is unlikely to be resolved before next week.” (Wonkette)

Glitter Graphics

Fantasy Children of Phantom Husband Nate Silver and me

Quote from previously mentioned NYT article:

“When we took him to preschool one time, we dropped him off, and he announced, ‘Today, I’m a numbers machine,’ and started counting,” Brian Silver said. “When we picked him up two and a half hours later, he was ‘Two thousand one hundred and twenty-two, two thousand one hundred and twenty-three...’ ”

So the question is, will we have precocious children who "become number machines" at age 4 or will we have precocious children who make everyone stop talking at family parties so they can hear a pre-school "Dorothy" sing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow"?

I think the answer is a hybrid of both. I think we'll have some spunky childruns who'll sing "3 Is a Magic Number" at the "holiday" (multi-faith) parties.

Feature Article on My Love Man Nate Silver

Har har har - Nate Silve and I are in love. Now he's in the New York Times. This extra shot to popularity -- making it into the NYT and all -- must be the reason he hasn't responded to any of my awesome awesome, non-freakish fanmails of marriage proposals.

NYT link:
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/11/10/business/media/10silver.html?hp

My Husband is a Good Listener

Yay! Phantom Husband Nate Silver took my styling advice and is on my teevee right now wearing his sexy sexy glasses.

(He comes in at around 2:00 witha very serious expression that reminds me a little of the Eagle on the Muppets, but I'm still crushin', yo.)

I sent an email to inform him of the Blingee that I made for him (see previous post). In the post-script, I recommended he wear his glasses on appearances, and right now he's on Keith Olbermann sporting the specs! Vair vair cute indeed.

Still hasn't written back to my emails though.

The email:

10/27/08

Subj: Nate, why won't you take my marriage proposal seriously?

I mean, I wrote to you two weeks ago and I haven't heard a word! WTF? I know you're busy being a media slut -- nice job on On the Media by the way -- but, c'mon. Can't I get a simple "hello"?

To demonstrate just how seriously I take my proposal in the open letter I posted on my blog, (http://buzzfeed.com/scott/nate-silver/open_letter_to_nate_please_marry_me), I have now posted a follow up, which is this:

http://blingee.com/blingee/view/74061333-Nate-Silver-Is-a-Hotty

Because nothing says "devoted and committed" like a tricked out pic on Blingee.

I hope you enjoy it. I'm especially fond of the blinking words "Love Man" that I put across the crotch area. That added the final touch of hideous flourish to make this perfect.

Write back soon! I'd love to be the one that helps you through your post election postpartum depression.

xo xo

Bridge

PS I dig you with the glasses more than without. If I were your stylist, I'd recommend you wear them during your on air interviews and appearances. Even before Sarah Palin, glasses were the new sexy accessory [emphasis added for the post]

Update on New Phantom Husband Nate Silver

Well, my phantom husband Nate Silver still hasn't responded to my open letter - via this blog - proposing marriage, but I think I have done the thing that will seal the deal: I have made a Blingee pic of him to show how much I love him.

I learned about Blingee from Wonkette.com. They're always making awesomely inappropriate Blingees, like when Larry King interviewed Mahmoud Amedemijhad.

So, here's my tribute to Nate. I hope this means he'll be in touch soon to accept my proposal and we will be happily married by the time Obama is sworn in.


Myspace Glitter Graphics

He's So Dreamy - in that awkward dorky way

Here's my new phantom husband on the Colbert Report last night. He says he wore the purple tie to be politically neutral but really it was his coded way of saying how much he loves me, since purple is my favourite color. It was like Carol Burnett's ear tug to say hi to her mom or whatnot.

Anyway, the clip:



Isn't he adorable? All shifty and nervous but still manages to be funny and smart...Hmm...Ah love.

Diversion Time: Phantom Husbands, Robin Hood & Bad Jokes

I've been very serious on the blog lately and since it's Saturday night, it's time for some Diversions.

#1

I have decided to add another Phantom Husband to my list. I don't usually go for the adorable looking ones, Ilike my phantom husbands to look fairly rugged, if you will. But anyway, here is the latest to the ever growing list of Phantom Husbands:

Red Sox Pitcher John Lester

#2

Don't ask me why I thought of this. I know it's rather terrible. But here it is anyway: if Malcolm Jamal Warner has to do a #2 and wants to say it in a funny way, isn't it sad that his options are limited? I mean, what's he going to say, "I gotta go drop myself off"? That's not very funny now, is it?

#3

I love love love Robin Hood on BBC. It's great for those Saturday nights

I've decided to be prudent and not go out so I can stay in and do school things. And, I might go ahead and add Jonas Armstrong to the list of Phantom Husbands.

Happy Song

Happy Songs with John Legend and Stephen Colbert

Okay, I know that last one was a bummer of a post. Sorry, it was the song in my head. But here is a fun one:

John Legend on Colbert Report

PS - How many am I up to now on the phantom husbands list? If it's phantom husbands, is there a limit? 'Cause I'm calling John Legend, too. And, for that matter, Stephen Colbert. Yep, both on the list.

Deal with it.

Cover of Cover Controversy

Cover of Cover Controversy

So, that David Cook "Billie Jean" arrangement that you loved so much from Idol the other night? Guess what? It was a cover of Chris Cornell's arrangement of "Billie Jean", which explains why it sounded so good! And even though he has fallen off my list of phantom husbands -- what with the even-more-emaciated-due-to-heavy-drug-use look combined with the not-aging-well-rock-star look (interdependent) -- I still love his voice. It still makes my breath quick.

http://hollywoodinsider.ew.com/2008/03/chris-cornell-s.html

"Original" Cover


Cover of Cover

Repost: The Seventh Husband

July 25, 2006

Barry Zito can be the seventh on my list of potential husbands, under the following conditions:

1) He continues to live on Lombard St.

2) He writes me a love song and plays it on his guitar down by Fisherman’s Wharf, with his sister on keyboard.

3) He pitches like that against the Sox all the time. (See Box Score.)

4) I get to keep my Red Sox loyalties.

5) If it turns out he’s gay and I’m just his beard, I get to have a lover, so long as I’m discreet.

6) I also get plenty of hush money.

Only under those conditions will I consider a non-Red Sox member to be on my list of potential husbands.

He knows he’s lucky to even have me consider him so he’ll meet my conditions without any problems.