Listen, I was all ready to write an apologetic blog about my bashing of actress Maragaret Easley and her Hughes Net commercial because I've seen her pop up in other non-annoying commercial things, like Big Love.
Plus I found this funny little interview on 1000 Questions, a rather dorky tech site that really only asks 8 questions, but "1000" is 8 in binary. (See? Dorky)
But then I saw the commercial again and changes my mind. IT'S SO ANNOYING!!!!
Sorry Margaret, I just hate can't take it.
Hilarious Curmudgeons
Just wanted to share some clips of hilarious curmudgeons I found these last two days on YouTube:
Lou Dobbs's Major Rant Against Tim Rutten
Here's a link to the interview Stephen "Esteban" Colbert did with Lou Dobbs.
And, on a completely different spectrum, here are some David Lynch clips.
One on product placement (careful, he uses naughty words):
and another on the iPhone (again, some naughty words are used):
Enjoy!
Lou Dobbs's Major Rant Against Tim Rutten
Here's a link to the interview Stephen "Esteban" Colbert did with Lou Dobbs.
And, on a completely different spectrum, here are some David Lynch clips.
One on product placement (careful, he uses naughty words):
and another on the iPhone (again, some naughty words are used):
Enjoy!
c crt <3 n motr city!!!
"c crt <3 in motr city" or,
Secret Love in the Motor City
Bah ha ha ha ha!!! Ha! Why am I laughing maniacally? Because of this:
http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2008/01/28/national/main3760266.shtml
Facsimile of the uncouth texts sent between the Mayor and his Chief of Staff in Detroit
Secret Love in the Motor City
Bah ha ha ha ha!!! Ha! Why am I laughing maniacally? Because of this:
Fraternization Scandal Rocks Detroit Mayor's OfficeApparently they sent 14,000+ text messages to each other - and hardly any were mayoral in content. Txt msgs included such gems as "You had me at hello" and song lyrics, according to this story, from "Day to Day"
by Jerome Vaughn
All Things Considered, January 29, 2008 -The office of Detroit Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick is reeling following publication of a series of e-mails between him and his chief of staff. The messages suggest that the pair lied under oath last year in denying they were having an affair. She is resigning.
Racy Text Messages Suggest Detroit Mayor Lied
Listen Now [5 min 11 sec] add to playlist
Day to Day, January 28, 2008 · Detroit Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick and his chief of staff testified in a police whistle-blower trial last summer that they didn't have an affair. Now romantic and sexually explicit text messages suggest they lied under oath.
And here's the link to the story that started the whole fall out:
http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2008/01/28/national/main3760266.shtml
Facsimile of the uncouth texts sent between the Mayor and his Chief of Staff in DetroitSnowshoeing
Daisy's Wonderin' Where the Snow Is
Snowshoeing
Poop, blarg, ack, phooey. Where is the snow? Where?
Daisy and I have been taking long walks behind Fulton on some of my days off.
Fulton Elementary School, the ball fields, the Res, Knny Rmeig's house + the rest of Gov Winthrop Lane
(As seen on Google Earth)
It's good because there's lots of paths, it's wide open and we're basically left alone so she can run around. I whistle and she comes to me if I go on a different path than her.
Why I'm complaining up there in my opening line about the fact that there is hardly any snow out there, is because it means I only have to wear my winter boots to take my Daisy walking. And I don't want to just wear boots.
I WANT TO GO SNOWSHOEING!!!
I keep thinking: Do I live in New England or in the tropics? Because I look across the street and can see the green albeit mucky grass of most of my neighbors' lawns. (The other side of the street loses snow quicker; I think it's because they're on the border of marshland so there lawn is warmer/moister. I'll have to go check that out somewhere. Is there an "Ask a Geologist?" website?)
In the meantime, Daisy and I will just have to be content with the crunch of an inch of snow under our feet, as opposed to the shuffleshuffle that sounds while snowshoeing.
Sadness.
But at least the walk is pretty. To go 30-45 minutes, I walk to the back end of Swan Ave and then back. We enjoy it, don't we Daisy?
She says yes.
Inordinate amount of joy
Have I mentioned that the first Carly is back, as a different character? And that I'm really happy about it?
This is what I wrote on "Claudia"'s wall on Facebook (Yeah, the character has a Facebook account. Clever clever!):
And I HATE exclamation points. But I loved this actress. I hope Claudia Z's a bitch, because no one does bitch like Sarah Brown - not saying she's a bitch. She seems pretty fun, actually, for her websites and stuff. But she does such a good job at playing a fiery, feisty bitch. It's REALLY fun to watch. She plays the kind of character you love to hate soooo well.
Seriously, I need to get a life.
This is what I wrote on "Claudia"'s wall on Facebook (Yeah, the character has a Facebook account. Clever clever!):
I AM SOOOOO EXCITED! We should party like it's nineteen ninety six - I'll bring the plaid shirts. (Just kidding.) Anyway YAY YAY YAY!!! WELCOME BACK!!!!! I LOVE GENERAL HOSPITAL!!!!!!!!!! That's an obnoxious amount of exclamation points. Sorry. Just happy.:)
And I HATE exclamation points. But I loved this actress. I hope Claudia Z's a bitch, because no one does bitch like Sarah Brown - not saying she's a bitch. She seems pretty fun, actually, for her websites and stuff. But she does such a good job at playing a fiery, feisty bitch. It's REALLY fun to watch. She plays the kind of character you love to hate soooo well.
Seriously, I need to get a life.
REJOICE!!! She's Back!!!
My 110% favorite Carly of all time from General Hospital is BACK!!! But, weirdly enough, she's playing a different character! How funny is that? Love it. Love it. Love it.
I'm soooooo excited for the return of actress Sara Joy Brown, who will be playing the role of a new character, Claudia Zacchara, a daughter of a mad mob boss.
You can even make the character your friend on Facebook:
http://www.facebook.com/people/Claudia_Zacchara/1073979621
See her website here.
Republican DebZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ Oops, fell asleep
Yeah, I'm watching the rerun of the Republican debates right now. I must say that it is far more issue driven than the Democratic one, which was very atTACKY.
I don't like the attack ridden ones, from either party. I like when they put the smack down on the opponent but only if it's on the issues or in defense of themselves. Like when Hilary said, "I don't think my opponents are singling me out because I'm a woman. I think they're attacking me because I'm AHEAD."
That was back in Nevada. (Pronounced neh-VAD-uh not ne-VAH-da.)
This one's just boring. It's weird. The candidates are all over the place. and Mike Huckabee, while charismatic no-doubt, is completely effed in the head. He just made some terrible metaphor about WMD. Paraphrase: "We still don't know for sure if that there were no WMDs. Just because you don't get all the eggs on an Easter egg hunt, doesn't mean they're not there."
Oh, and he just compared drug dealers and prostitutes to Democrats. The crowd went "Ooooo."
When Ron Paul was asked about the Iraq War, he flat out said, "It was a mistake and I've always been against it."
Rudy Giuliani - and this will come as a real shock if you've been following the campaign - just mentioned 9/11.
Alrighty, that's about all I can take. I'm sure it was just as riveting for you, too.
I don't like the attack ridden ones, from either party. I like when they put the smack down on the opponent but only if it's on the issues or in defense of themselves. Like when Hilary said, "I don't think my opponents are singling me out because I'm a woman. I think they're attacking me because I'm AHEAD."
That was back in Nevada. (Pronounced neh-VAD-uh not ne-VAH-da.)
This one's just boring. It's weird. The candidates are all over the place. and Mike Huckabee, while charismatic no-doubt, is completely effed in the head. He just made some terrible metaphor about WMD. Paraphrase: "We still don't know for sure if that there were no WMDs. Just because you don't get all the eggs on an Easter egg hunt, doesn't mean they're not there."
Oh, and he just compared drug dealers and prostitutes to Democrats. The crowd went "Ooooo."
When Ron Paul was asked about the Iraq War, he flat out said, "It was a mistake and I've always been against it."
Rudy Giuliani - and this will come as a real shock if you've been following the campaign - just mentioned 9/11.
Alrighty, that's about all I can take. I'm sure it was just as riveting for you, too.
Ugh, my knee hurts
Score : Whipper Snapper Whitman High School Girls 1, Old Ass B1tches 0 (on a PK, which was lame)
Soccer wasn't that bad, actually. But my old lady knee hurts a smidgen today and will be worse tomorrow.
My friend Tea Leaf showed us these energizing/calming exercises you can do to help regulate your breath and get your energy up and stuff like that, up at school earlier this month. I used tonight them once someone subbed in for me and I thought I was going to pass out.
This is the body one:
Just kidding. What it really is, is simply twisting your arms around each other at the elbows and then crossing your legs.
Then you do the breathing exercise which is solely through the nose. You cover one nostril, breath in, cover that nostril and uncover the other then breath out. It helps with steadying your breath.
(My goodness I love the images on Wikimedia.)
Soccer wasn't that bad, actually. But my old lady knee hurts a smidgen today and will be worse tomorrow.
My friend Tea Leaf showed us these energizing/calming exercises you can do to help regulate your breath and get your energy up and stuff like that, up at school earlier this month. I used tonight them once someone subbed in for me and I thought I was going to pass out.
This is the body one:
Just kidding. What it really is, is simply twisting your arms around each other at the elbows and then crossing your legs.Then you do the breathing exercise which is solely through the nose. You cover one nostril, breath in, cover that nostril and uncover the other then breath out. It helps with steadying your breath.
(My goodness I love the images on Wikimedia.)
Watch out girls
Because Bridge is on the field. And her ineptitude at soccer is liable to get everyone killed.
I'm playing soccer for the first time since college intramurals today. Actually there were a few times I' helped the gym teacher at Mst Lnding Schl when I was an aide and we played on opposite teams during gym class.
So, anyway, there you go.
Wish me luck and let's hope the brute sissy-poo isn't too derisive.
Sweet Sweet Irony
Here is a link to the NYC MoMA's database on dadaism, called the "Dadabase"
http://library.moma.org/webvoy.htm
I must report - and this is so lovely - that the database on Dadaism is, in fact, very well organized.
I was catching up on my RSS feeds and read Pierre Joris's post on Henri Chopin, who passed away on January 3, 2008.
http://pjoris.blogspot.com/2008/01/henri-chopin-1922-2008.html
http://library.moma.org/webvoy.htm
I must report - and this is so lovely - that the database on Dadaism is, in fact, very well organized.
I was catching up on my RSS feeds and read Pierre Joris's post on Henri Chopin, who passed away on January 3, 2008.
http://pjoris.blogspot.com/2008/01/henri-chopin-1922-2008.html
The End of an Error, for certain
The End of an Error: WAR- What Is It Good for?
Remember back in the day when Christina Aguilera was the skanky, "dirrrrty", out of control pop star
and Britney was the sweet if not a bit naughty one?
Remember they used to have feuds via the tabloids, fueled by the tabloids and encouraged by our desire to ignore things like islamo-fascism?
My how the tides have turned. Britney has lost custody of her two sons and is due to overdose, like our adorable Heath Ledger (so strange and sad) any day now.
Meanwhile, over in "well adjusted" land, Christina has a hit album, a new lovely video
and a brand new son, Max Liron Bratman. Lechayyim! Or however you spell the Hebrew term "to life". (I know this term from playing Tzeitel in our junior high production of Fiddler on the Roof...)
As rhetoric (alright, fine, it was trash talk, but "rhetoric" is the fun, facetious term for it) wound down and the girls got into things like motherhood and marriage, more and more people speculated on the futures of the two ex-MMC alumna (again, I love using high diction words like "alumna" and "rhetoric" when talking about Britney, Christina and the Mickey Mouse Club).
Here's an eerily accurate prediction of the future from a Canadian entertainment column, published in the late 2006 (I can't tell if it's June 9 or Sept 6 because I can't tell how they're doing their dates).
Britney Vs. Christina: Who's Dirty Now?
Anyway, here's this for old times sake. (Click here if this illegal link is ever disabled):
And, of course, this (Again click here if this illegal link is disabled)
Now that everyone's all too messed up to bother with or too normal to attract attention, does that mean we'll have to pay attention to things like the worst days in global stock markets since September 11 or the upcoming election ?
Lord help us. Or at least some charismatic albeit tartish pop stars.
Remember back in the day when Christina Aguilera was the skanky, "dirrrrty", out of control pop star
and Britney was the sweet if not a bit naughty one?
Remember they used to have feuds via the tabloids, fueled by the tabloids and encouraged by our desire to ignore things like islamo-fascism?
My how the tides have turned. Britney has lost custody of her two sons and is due to overdose, like our adorable Heath Ledger (so strange and sad) any day now.
Meanwhile, over in "well adjusted" land, Christina has a hit album, a new lovely video
and a brand new son, Max Liron Bratman. Lechayyim! Or however you spell the Hebrew term "to life". (I know this term from playing Tzeitel in our junior high production of Fiddler on the Roof...)
As rhetoric (alright, fine, it was trash talk, but "rhetoric" is the fun, facetious term for it) wound down and the girls got into things like motherhood and marriage, more and more people speculated on the futures of the two ex-MMC alumna (again, I love using high diction words like "alumna" and "rhetoric" when talking about Britney, Christina and the Mickey Mouse Club).
Here's an eerily accurate prediction of the future from a Canadian entertainment column, published in the late 2006 (I can't tell if it's June 9 or Sept 6 because I can't tell how they're doing their dates).
Britney Vs. Christina: Who's Dirty Now?
Anyway, here's this for old times sake. (Click here if this illegal link is ever disabled):
And, of course, this (Again click here if this illegal link is disabled)
Now that everyone's all too messed up to bother with or too normal to attract attention, does that mean we'll have to pay attention to things like the worst days in global stock markets since September 11 or the upcoming election ?
Lord help us. Or at least some charismatic albeit tartish pop stars.
Letter from a Birmingham Jail
Yesterday the watch words were "I have a dream"; however, I would like to provide for you a link to "Letter from a Birmingham Jail", an inspiring open letter Martin Luther King wrote from, well, a Birmingham, Alabama jail.
This document, along with Abigail Adams letters to John (see this post) and James Madison's Federalist papers are some of the most essential letters and papers in American history but are usually overshadowed by their showier cousins, like the Declaration of Independence, the "I Have a Dream" speech and the Gettysburg address.
If you haven't the time to read "Letter" - or if your Eng 101 teacher (turned guy you once dated, turned ex-patriot in Ireland via Hungary) didn't assign you to read it, here is what I consider one of the most prescient ideas of it.
"Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere."
If we adhered to that, my goodness would things be different.
Homage Ketchup: Tori Amos
Homage to Tori AmosI don't think I pay enough homage to my favorite famous person, Tori Amos. For a person I've never met, she's one of the most important people in my life. Is that pathetic? Or is it just a fact of life in the 21st century?
I mean, in the 19th century a lot of people loved Abraham Lincoln and they didn't know him. Granted he was the president and ushered along the end of slavery.
Though she didn't end slavery, Tori did found RAINN - the Rape Incest & Abuse National Network. After the release of "Me and Gun" she had so many people reaching out to her to tell their stories and to seek help, so she had to do something.
From the Everything Tori homepage:
Tori Amos is a founding member of and has been one of the main spokeswoman for The Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network (RAINN), the nation’s largest anti-sexual assault organization. RAINN created and operates the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 1.800.656.HOPE. RAINN also publicizes the hotline’s free, confidential services, educates the public about sexual assault, and leads national efforts to improve services to victims and ensure that rapists are brought to justice.
1 800 656 HOPE (1 800 656 4673)
Free & Confidential 24/7
So, for no particular reason, I just wanted to say - Tori Amos is the best and I am grateful that she's around.
Those Who Do Not Learn from History...
Those Who Do Not Learn from History Are Doomed to Repeat It
January 21, 1991
Dear Hello Kitty Diary,
Sup? N/M/H
School is wicked hard.
I haven't talked to Dani T, Dani F and Sue B. on the phone in a while but we are writing notes. I talked to Kara Beth yesterday on the phone, though.
I wish I had a boyfriend.
We are at war with Iraq.
Bush is a bad, unpopular president.
We are heading into a recession.
Let's hope this Clinton person running for president can rescue us from this fresh hell.
Wolf Blitzer and his weird name does, actually, look wolfish.
Well, that's about it. I'm pretty sure that things will get better within the next 17 years because it's so bad right now, the only place to go is up!
TTFN,
Bridge
January 21, 1991
Dear Hello Kitty Diary,
Sup? N/M/H
School is wicked hard.
I haven't talked to Dani T, Dani F and Sue B. on the phone in a while but we are writing notes. I talked to Kara Beth yesterday on the phone, though.
I wish I had a boyfriend.
We are at war with Iraq.
Bush is a bad, unpopular president.
We are heading into a recession.
Let's hope this Clinton person running for president can rescue us from this fresh hell.
Wolf Blitzer and his weird name does, actually, look wolfish.
Well, that's about it. I'm pretty sure that things will get better within the next 17 years because it's so bad right now, the only place to go is up!
TTFN,
Bridge
Recipe Time: Spinach Vodka Sauce
Hey. Sup? I made dinner tonight. I haven't made a meal in weeks, simply because I've been in my beloved Maine for the residency and to visit my friends and their myriad of children.
So, here is today's dinner recipe, for you. It's partially inspired by Sandra Lee's Semi Homemade Cooking.
Ingredients:
Cookware used:
First I crushed the sea salt with the grater into the 2/3 full pot of water, which I covered then brought to a boil.
While the water was boiling, I took the spinach leaves from the package and double checked them as I tore up the leaves into rough sections (I'll chop them later) and put it in a colander over the sink. I then rinsed the spinach in the sink, shook off a lot of the water and let the rest of the water sit there. Some water left on the spinach leaves is a good thing because it help with wilting later when it gets cooked.
Once that was done, in a very large skillet, I heated up 1 tbs of evoo for about 30 seconds, then added some salt, some pepper and the garlic. I like to use a wooden spoon when I cook. Using that, I stirred the evoo, salt, pepper and garlic around and let it heat up over medium heat.
While that was heating up, I chopped up the onion.
When just a few of the garlic pieces were slightly brown, I added the chopped onion and stirred that around. Then added two more tbs of evoo.
As that heated up, while still in its package, I flattened the bullion cube so that when I added water with it, it would dissolve easier. I removed the cube from its wrapper and put it in a small jar. I scooped the boiling water from the pot (about 1/2 cup) and put it in the jar. I let the cube and hot water sit for a little.
Next I added the pasta to the pot and re-covered the pot until the pasta came to a boil.
While the pasta in the water came to a boil I added the milk to the vodka sauce jar because it was only 1/3 full anyway. If you're making this, I would add the sauce and milk to a med bowl and stir. I simply covered the jar and shook it. Same diff.
The pasta was boiling, so I uncovered it, stirred it, brought it to medium heat and set the time for ten minutes, keeping in mind that I would have to stir it about three times before I removed it from the heat.
Meanwhile, back at the skillet, I stirred the everything around. Then I should have chopped up the spinach a lot and add a little at a time. (I didn't chop it and so it was too clumped together in the end.) You obviously can't add all of it at once, so I added it by hand fulls until it wilted a little until all the spinach was in the skillet. Finally, I shook and stirred with a fork the broth then added it to the spinach. After that, I poured in the vodka sauce and milk, stirred it up and covered it.
By this time, the pasta was cooked, so I strained that into the colander over the sink then put it back in the pot. I added about a tsp and a half of margarine, some salt and pepper and snuck a few scoops of the sauce out of the skillet and stirred that around, to keep the pasta separated.
Finally, I went back to the skillet, stirred everything around and then did this tricky little thing with the cheese. Because melting cheese into a sauce can get tricky. So, I pushed the spinach to one section and let the sauce-y part pool in another section, then sprinkled about a third of the cheese into it. I stirred that around until the cheese was getting fairly melty, then stirred that all around the entire skillet and repeated the pool, add cheese, melt a little and stir around thing until all the cheese was in there. I stirred all the ingredients very well. Then I turned the heat to low, re-covered the skillet and let that simmer for a few minutes until it smelled good - you know what I mean?
Then I mixed everything together and ate it too fast because 1) it was really good and 2) I was hungry. Plus 3) it was actually good for me to eat.
(Image from a blog about pasta...)
So, here is today's dinner recipe, for you. It's partially inspired by Sandra Lee's Semi Homemade Cooking.
Ingredients:
- 1 box of whole wheat pasta, cooked al dente- because it's good for you
- 1/3 jar of jarred vodka sauce
- 1/2 cup of skim milk
- 1/2 cup low fat shredded Italian cheese blend - like Sargento or whatever
- 1 vegetable bullion cube
- 1 package of spinach
- 3 tbs evoo
- 3 tsp minced garlic (yeah, that many)
- 1 1/2 tsp margarine or butter
- half onion, chopped
- freshly crushed sea salt and cracked pepper
Cookware used:
- Fork
- Chopping knife
- Wooden spoon
- Ladle
- Colander
- Glass jar with cover
- Cutting board
- Large frying pan/skillet
- Medium large sauce pan
First I crushed the sea salt with the grater into the 2/3 full pot of water, which I covered then brought to a boil.
While the water was boiling, I took the spinach leaves from the package and double checked them as I tore up the leaves into rough sections (I'll chop them later) and put it in a colander over the sink. I then rinsed the spinach in the sink, shook off a lot of the water and let the rest of the water sit there. Some water left on the spinach leaves is a good thing because it help with wilting later when it gets cooked.
Once that was done, in a very large skillet, I heated up 1 tbs of evoo for about 30 seconds, then added some salt, some pepper and the garlic. I like to use a wooden spoon when I cook. Using that, I stirred the evoo, salt, pepper and garlic around and let it heat up over medium heat.
While that was heating up, I chopped up the onion.
(I have to add here that first I tried to chop the onion with the knife in the knife holder at the counter, but it wasn't sharp enough. Then I got the very superb Cutco knife from its pouch, located on the other side of the kitchen on the floor. Once I finally started chopping, I had to stop after the first time the knife hit the completely impractical glass cutting board. The reason why I'm going on here is because the set up in the kitchen drives me up a wall, but since it's not my kitchen, my opinion doesn't matter. I did move the completely asinine but decorative cutting board to the side of the sink and put the more practical wooden cutting board next to the stove, only to have it put back the impractical way when I wasn't paying attention by the "It's My Kitchen" Fairy. I don't know what to do with that woman - except maybe move? Yeah. That seems to be the only solution. Until then, I'm not allowed to have an opinion on how to set up a kitchen.)
When just a few of the garlic pieces were slightly brown, I added the chopped onion and stirred that around. Then added two more tbs of evoo.
As that heated up, while still in its package, I flattened the bullion cube so that when I added water with it, it would dissolve easier. I removed the cube from its wrapper and put it in a small jar. I scooped the boiling water from the pot (about 1/2 cup) and put it in the jar. I let the cube and hot water sit for a little.
Next I added the pasta to the pot and re-covered the pot until the pasta came to a boil.
While the pasta in the water came to a boil I added the milk to the vodka sauce jar because it was only 1/3 full anyway. If you're making this, I would add the sauce and milk to a med bowl and stir. I simply covered the jar and shook it. Same diff.
The pasta was boiling, so I uncovered it, stirred it, brought it to medium heat and set the time for ten minutes, keeping in mind that I would have to stir it about three times before I removed it from the heat.
Meanwhile, back at the skillet, I stirred the everything around. Then I should have chopped up the spinach a lot and add a little at a time. (I didn't chop it and so it was too clumped together in the end.) You obviously can't add all of it at once, so I added it by hand fulls until it wilted a little until all the spinach was in the skillet. Finally, I shook and stirred with a fork the broth then added it to the spinach. After that, I poured in the vodka sauce and milk, stirred it up and covered it.
By this time, the pasta was cooked, so I strained that into the colander over the sink then put it back in the pot. I added about a tsp and a half of margarine, some salt and pepper and snuck a few scoops of the sauce out of the skillet and stirred that around, to keep the pasta separated.
Finally, I went back to the skillet, stirred everything around and then did this tricky little thing with the cheese. Because melting cheese into a sauce can get tricky. So, I pushed the spinach to one section and let the sauce-y part pool in another section, then sprinkled about a third of the cheese into it. I stirred that around until the cheese was getting fairly melty, then stirred that all around the entire skillet and repeated the pool, add cheese, melt a little and stir around thing until all the cheese was in there. I stirred all the ingredients very well. Then I turned the heat to low, re-covered the skillet and let that simmer for a few minutes until it smelled good - you know what I mean?
Then I mixed everything together and ate it too fast because 1) it was really good and 2) I was hungry. Plus 3) it was actually good for me to eat.(Image from a blog about pasta...)
Repost: The Seventh Husband
July 25, 2006
Barry Zito can be the seventh on my list of potential husbands, under the following conditions:
1) He continues to live on Lombard St.
2) He writes me a love song and plays it on his guitar down by Fisherman’s Wharf, with his sister on keyboard.
3) He pitches like that against the Sox all the time. (See Box Score.)
4) I get to keep my Red Sox loyalties.
5) If it turns out he’s gay and I’m just his beard, I get to have a lover, so long as I’m discreet.
6) I also get plenty of hush money.
Only under those conditions will I consider a non-Red Sox member to be on my list of potential husbands.
He knows he’s lucky to even have me consider him so he’ll meet my conditions without any problems.
Neat-o
I just went to a seminar on "Sudden Fiction", which is very short stories. It was neat-o.
What's funny about such short stories, is that they can often be renamed dramatic monologues, or prose poems.
Here is an example of teeny tiny minuscule fiction:
What's funny about such short stories, is that they can often be renamed dramatic monologues, or prose poems.
Here is an example of teeny tiny minuscule fiction:
From "Wired" Magazine: Very Short Stories - 33 writers. 5 designers. 6-word science fiction.
The Trouble with Parking
The trouble with snow, Maine and the tourist-drenched town of Freeport is that you can never tell what is a legitimate parking spot and what it made up.
Behind the Rite Aid, where I'd stopped to buy some forgotten items from home, I parked next to a car that was behind the building.
In all honesty, it was probably wishful thinking on my part, that the place was actually a spot. And I, with my loathsome MA license plate, was looked upon with disdain, when I returned to my spot after my errand, by the pepe unloading trash into the dumpster situated next to my made up parking spot .
I smiled at him and said, "Hi."
He looked at my car and said, "Chuh, this is a bad spot," in his Lewiston-y French Canadian accent (hence my naming him a pepe).
A crunchy, compact layer of snow is compressed onto all lots, so it's "use your imagination" time when in comes to parking.
I'm so self conscience, having a MA license plate here in Freeport. And staying at the relatively "swanky" Hilton. I want to holler to all prejudiced locals, "But I worked at M a st La ndin g! I'm relatively local! I know this area!"
'Tis no use. With the license plate from the Commonwealth of Massachusetts comes all its inherent Mass-hole prejudices, no matter the fact that I've driven down Bow St a bigillion times to get to work, no matter that I lived in five different towns and worked in 12 different towns of Maine. I have the dread Mass plates. I am guilty of being not from here.
Sad.
And also a microcosm of my feelings on being in Wey-boring again, instead of up here.
Behind the Rite Aid, where I'd stopped to buy some forgotten items from home, I parked next to a car that was behind the building.
In all honesty, it was probably wishful thinking on my part, that the place was actually a spot. And I, with my loathsome MA license plate, was looked upon with disdain, when I returned to my spot after my errand, by the pepe unloading trash into the dumpster situated next to my made up parking spot .
I smiled at him and said, "Hi."
He looked at my car and said, "Chuh, this is a bad spot," in his Lewiston-y French Canadian accent (hence my naming him a pepe).
A crunchy, compact layer of snow is compressed onto all lots, so it's "use your imagination" time when in comes to parking.
I'm so self conscience, having a MA license plate here in Freeport. And staying at the relatively "swanky" Hilton. I want to holler to all prejudiced locals, "But I worked at M a st La ndin g! I'm relatively local! I know this area!"
'Tis no use. With the license plate from the Commonwealth of Massachusetts comes all its inherent Mass-hole prejudices, no matter the fact that I've driven down Bow St a bigillion times to get to work, no matter that I lived in five different towns and worked in 12 different towns of Maine. I have the dread Mass plates. I am guilty of being not from here.
Sad.
And also a microcosm of my feelings on being in Wey-boring again, instead of up here.
Repost: Books
June 29, 2006
We’re all bringing books to swap down the Cape this weekend. Claire suggested it by accident; she just wanted some suggestions for herself. I think it’s a brilliant idea, though.
Anyway, I’m reading “The Diary of Anais Nin” right now. I like it very much. I just read her entry contrasting her writing with Henry Miller’s. What was the adjective she used? I’ll expound later. People have returned from errands and I must disappear to my non-connected room.
Repost: Ramblings
Oh good lord- roving ramblings for the end of the month
June 29, 2006
We’re all home today. This is a recipe for disaster. As a result, I’m spending as much time upstairs as possible. I also stayed up late to work last night so I could sleep away the morning. This is my natural cycle, so why fight it?
Ding dong the witch is dead, sort of. I’m pleased that a tiny crack has been chinked into the fortress that is Guantanamo.
I’m haunted by the ghost of a seductress from traumatic Fall of ‘94. I don’t know why it was so traumatic. I suppose the stress of junior year, the stress of home, the stress of life in general as more adult responsibilities are put upon you.
What did I do as a result? What was my rebelling release? You know, it wouldn’t be such a big deal if I didn’t end up thinking about it everytime I wandered into entertainment news. I’m just sorry for nice old Jos h Abe ll. He was a good guy. I tried to get in touch with him, but he isn’t available. We stopped talking in summer of 2000. All of the sudden, too. Maybe he was finally letting himself be angry at me for my shennigans against him with another boy back in 1994. (This hybridic guilt will be manifested in more profound prose. It’s three projects down the line.)
That’s it for general stuff. I’m going to do a blog about my books next.
The Favorites Survey
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Ladies and Gentlemen, Mrs Gwenyth Pemberton-Smythe (GPS)
Santa's big present this year was a Garmin GPS device. It's quite lovely. I was able to get my food shopping for the New Year's Eve party done by knowing precisely where the closest grocery store was off of the highway on my way home from work.
I have it set to the British accent. She's quite lovely, too, actually. Very polite and articulate.
"In 200 yards, make a RIGHT... Turn RIGHT."
Sometimes as we're going along and the traffic is ridiculous (rare occurence in Mass, as I'm sure you can imagine) I imitate her.
"Move into the RIGHT lane because the f&^king idiot in the LEFT lane is only going fifty miles per hour. He obviously doesn't know how to drive in the fast lane. This is unfortunate."
My friend Anthony suggested I name her; something with the initials GPS.
On the way home from work, Alicia and I pieced out the perfect British sounding name as we bobbed and weaved through not-so-bad traffic.
B: Some sort of hyphenated name. Like Pemberton-Smith. What's a good G name? A British sounding one?
A: It's hard to think of any kind of G name.
B: Yeah. There's Gloria, but that's not British enough...Gretchen sounds too German. Ooh, how about Guinivere?
A: No, Gwyneth.
B: Yes! Gwyneth Pemberton-Smith.
A: I feel like it should be Smythe.
B: I was just thinking that! Okay, so, my Garmin lady is Mrs Gwyneth Pemberton-Smythe.
Alicia, by the way, has a TomTom. Her British Lady GPS voice is simply Emma Thompson, and there's no way around it.
Origins of GPS:
Gwyneth - Welch, poss. from the Welsh word "happiness"; other meanings: white, fair
Pemberton - variation of "Pemberley", where Mr Darcy
lived (with me)
Smythe - topographic name for someone who lived by a forge, or a metonymic occupational name for someone employed at a one, from Middle English smithe, smythy ‘smithy’. (from here)
Real origins of GPS - Global Positioning System.
http://www.garmin.com/garmin/cms/site/us
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